1. CIDU
  2. Hopefully this isn’t political. Nothing’s safe these days.
  3. Is this the first time they’ve acknowledged that these are the only humans alive? I can’t believe that hasn’t been contradicted over the past fifty-two years. And if it is true, I think maybe they should spend time creating seeking punchlines and more time getting busy.
  4. Does Grog count as human?
  5. Actually, if there are only nine people alive, whom does B.C. keep sending those messages to? Or is that Peter sending the messages? If I haven’t figured it who is who in half a century, I’m not going to now (so please, nobody try explaining it to me; if I really cared, I’m sure I would have figured it out by now).

Choose Your Own Finale

retail final

Retail closes its doors tomorrow. I suppose it’s possible that tomorrow’s strip will give us a Calvin/Far Side-level perfect finale, but…

This weekend’s question: How would you end an existing strip? Somebody (Doug Bratton?) drew a “final B.C. strip” in which Jesus is born. Fifty years ago, Mad published a “final Beetle Bailey strip” in which he finally took off his cap and we saw “Get out of Viet Nam” written on his forehead.

I imagine Funky Winkerbean will end with a truck carrying toxic waste exploding, and the entire population of Westview suffering long, painful deaths.

Arlo and Janis retire from whatever the hell they do and move to the shore to be with the kids just in time for Mary Lou to give birth to a baby boy.  Or… Arlo runs off with Lois. It can go either way.

Well, you’re in charge: give our comic strip friends the endings they deserve.