59 Comments

  1. Oh, you could go so far with the first comic’s pun…

    “I yam what I yam!” Vlad the Sailor
    “I’m innocent! I swear I’m innocent!” “Tell it to the judge!” Vlad the Jailer
    “Let me just measure your inside seam. Dress to the left do we, sir?” Vlad the Tailor
    “Quick everybody, the boat is sinking!” Vlad the Bailer
    “Coming soon…” Vlad the Trailer

    C’mon everyone! Get in on this!

  2. Womb? Weary?
    He rests. He has travelled.
    With?
    Sinbad the Sailor and Tinbad the Tailor and Jinbad the Jailer and Whinbad the Whaler and Ninbad the Nailer and Finbad the Failer and Binbad the Bailer and Pinbad the Pailer and Minbad the Mailer and Hinbad the Hailer and Rinbad the Railer and Dinbad the Kailer and Vinbad the Quailer and Linbad the Yailer and Xinbad the Phthailer.
    When?
    Going to dark bed there was a square round Sinbad the Sailor roc’s auk’s egg in the night of the bed of all the auks of the rocs of Darkinbad the Brightdayler.
    Where?

  3. At first I was wondering whether displaying a picture of the Stars & Stripes as drawn by McPherson should count as desecration of the flag, but then I decided that the judge’s gavel is even more atrocious.

  4. P.S. The last time “Vlad” showed up in a CIDU I made the mistake of looking up who the reference was to. Even if some of the stories were embellished by his opponents as post-mortem character assassination, they are still truly revolting, so that the name doesn’t seem like a good basis for a joke.

  5. “the name doesn’t seem like a good basis for a joke”

    Using evil folks as the basis for humour is not uncommon. For example, Charlie Chaplin comes to mind instantly. Alec Baldwin too, but that depends on your political bent I suppose, and isn’t worth getting into here. There’s also the whole genre of black humour that incorporates anything from tsunami disasters to the recent Iranian missiles that shot down the airliner.

    Dark, revolting stuff makes great fodder for jokes. Some say that it’s cathartic and acts as a good coping strategy to deal with awful events. It may even humble the subject of the joke so that his/her actions don’t seem as intimidating to the populace who then may gain the courage to rise up. Think Xi Jinping and Winnie the Pooh.

    I don’t think anyone will be upset by a couple of jokes about a 15th Century count and his shameful antics. Let’s remove the hold he has upon us!

    “I can let you have 5 gross at $3.95 a dozen, but that’s a low as I can go.” Vlad the Wholesaler

  6. Stan, how come none of your example alternatives have anything to do with vampirism? Seems to me that’s an essential component of the joke.

  7. ‘“Vlad the three-syllable-word”’

    Not only that, but also including a pun on ‘Impaler’, which is why ‘impala’ works so well.

  8. I don’t get it, shrug. Sure, Chaplin was a nasty piece of work, but calling him evil seems a bit much.
    At first the office romance one had me baffled, too, as I wondered what the guy in the suit was ding in their kitchen, but finally the penny dropped.

  9. I didn’t get the Fox Trot one. And in the case of the McPherson one, the joke itself was ok, but the drawing style is so ugly and messy it detracts from any enjoyment I might have of it. It reminds me of the old Peanuts comic when Charlie Brown would try to write a penpal letter with a fountain pen.
    By the way, what is the judge wearing? A V-neck sweater and suspenders?

  10. lazarusjohn, Paige spends so much time sharing photos of her hot soup, it’s no longer hot. But the important part is she shared the photos

  11. “@Stan, it has to be “Vlad the three-syllable-word” to work. IMO.”

    “Not only that, but also including a pun on ‘Impaler’, which is why ‘impala’ works so well.”

    “Stan, how come none of your example alternatives have anything to do with vampirism? Seems to me that’s an essential component of the joke.”

    Geeze, tough crowd.

    “I was only trying to have a little bit of fun.” Stan the Prevailer

  12. “Vlad the Impala” is common among old car enthusiasts.

    What was the Charlie Chaplin reference above? FWIW, he played Hitler (aka Adenoid Hynkel) in a film, as satire.

    Also dark, revolting people and make great subjects for folk tales and traditional song ballads.

  13. My interpretation of the Fox Trot one is that the steam from the soup messed up the picture, which is why Paige keeps raising her phone further from the soup. Would have helped if there was steam coming out, though.

  14. “And I built that castle, and do they call me Vlad the Castle builder? NO. And I built the Royal Highway, and do they call me Vlad the Highway Builder? NO. And I built all those bridges, and do they call me Vlad the Bridge Builder? NO.

    “But let me stick ONE GUY on ONE POLE …”

  15. >@Stan, it has to be “Vlad the three-syllable-word” to work. IMO.

    >Not only that, but also including a pun on ‘Impaler’,

    Well, in my opinion “explainer” neither rhymes nor is a pun on “impaler” and the joke doesn’t work.

    (But mansplaining is so funny I can choose to just focus on that.)

  16. @Grawlix – “What was the Charlie Chaplin reference above? FWIW, he played Hitler (aka Adenoid Hynkel) in a film, as satire.”

    Earlier, Kilby suggested that Vlad the Impaler wasn’t a good subject for a joke because of all the terrible things he had done, and I countered that this was not unusual and used the humorous portrayal of Hitler by Charlie Chaplin you mentioned above as an example.

  17. Thanks, Stan for clarifying. If nothing else this served to remind me of a CC film I hadn’t thought about in a long while.

  18. But meant to mention, I thought “Vlad the Explainer” was fine, just as good as “Impala”. Neither is a perfect 2-syllable rhyme for “impaler”, though it’s hard to say if either kind of slight mismatch is more serious. (For “impala” I’m talking about the stressed vowel in the penult – – the reduced final vowel doesn’t matter at all.)

  19. Stan / Grawlix / Kilby – The remaining unresolved question would be whether Downpuppy was just putting it on or was seriously thinking Chaplin was being accused of evil behavior.

  20. @Mitch4 -“Stan / Grawlix / Kilby – The remaining unresolved question would be whether Downpuppy was just putting it on or was seriously thinking Chaplin was being accused of evil behavior.”

    I thought he/she was joking, which is why I wasn’t responding to his/her comment. I don’t think Kilby was either, and I think Grawlix just missed the earlier Chaplin comment and was looking for clarification.

  21. >It was a little startling to see a credit for “Oona Chaplin” recently, and not see an appearance by a really old actress.

    Oona Chaplin (nee O’Neill) was not an actress. She was his only wife that wasn’t and his only marriage that lasted

    (You may have been thinking of Paulette Goudard, who costarred in Modern Times, who was probably the most well known actress of his wives.)

  22. Mitch4 said, ‘I thought “Vlad the Explainer” was fine, just as good as “Impala”. Neither is a perfect 2-syllable rhyme for “impaler”’

    How do you pronounce “impaler” with only two syllables? I think that a non-rhotic pronunciation of it would be only imperceptibly different from “impala”.

  23. Arthur, humh? No, of course it takes me two syllables to say the whole word “impaler”. But we’re dealing with what used to be called “feminine rhymes”, that is, it’s the last two syllables that count. And the penult of each word-or-phrase should have the stress, and these syllables of the two items rhyme (have differing initial sound but matching syllabic core and optional final consonant), and in principle the less-stressed or unstressed final syllables of the two items are identical but in practice can be a little off and not count against the overall feminine rhyme. (A “masculine rhyme” only counts the final syllables.) Thus, ‘NanTUCKet’ and ‘Oh FUCK it’ match as a “feminine rhyme” or 2-syllable rhyme; even though I gave the three syllables so the word would be complete.

    So, ‘explainer’ and ‘impaler’ at least have the same vowel in the stressed penultimate syllable, though those syllables are not quite rhymes — ‘plain’ and ‘pail’. And I’m not caring too much about the final syllables. Similarly, I wouldn’t worry too much about the final syllables of ‘impaler’ and ‘impala’, just as you say — but the vowel in the penult syllable is a problem. Though I don’t know how you say ‘impala’. I say or hear it two different ways, but the vowels are not in either case the “long A” diphthong I get in ‘impaler’ and ‘explainer’. Instead I only get the non-diphthongs ae (from ‘cat’) or ah (from ‘collar’).

  24. the long A and the er are and the accented second syllable are the same in “explainer” and “impaler” but that is *nowhere* near enough to overcome the preceding “x” and following “n” in explainer *waaay* overpowing the exceedingly soft “m” and “l” in impaler.

    To my mind the two words don’t sound even remotely the same.

    If I think about it I realize that they *do* sound more similar than, say, “meat loaf” and “ice cream” but I have to *really* think hard to realize that “explainer” and “impaler” have *anything* in common. (actually “meat loaf” and “ice cream” have two syllables and a long “E” in common… thats nearly as much as “impaler” and “explainer” have…. but not as much as “explainer and “explorer” have in common.)

    (Frankly “Dora the Explainer” would to my mind be a better, but still utterly unacceptable, pun)

  25. “actually “meat loaf” and “ice cream” have two syllables and a long “E” in common”

    Another thing they have in common is that I had meat loaf for lunch, and am about to have a bit of ice cream before going to bed. But I wonder how *They* knew that?

    “Fried egg” and “key” also have things in common — I turned both this morning.

  26. Now that we’ve had a chance to read all of those amusing (and informative) comments, let’s proceed to page two.

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