Why the customer should have known Marla was faking it:


After “the following options,” she forgot to say “Please listen carefully, because the options have changed.”

I remember when the magazine I work for got a voicemail system, and when you called it the message included “Please listen carefully, because the options have changed. To reach the publisher, press 1; To reach the Managing Editor, press 2…”

I called the publisher — on a direct line — and said “Ray, we just got the system installed this morning. How can the options have changed already?” He told me that line is just part of the standard package.

(You know, going back to the Sally Forth from a few minute ago… when the magazine was circling the drain, maybe I should have tried for the same deal Sally suggested)

Exactly how was the customer supposed to have prepared himself for this?


Granted, he could have waited a week before returning his item, but that doesn’t qualify as “being prepared for this.” The store, on the other hand, knows from experience that lines will be long on December 26. Granted, all the preparation in the world wouldn’t eliminate lines on December 26; but again, not the point.

Grumbels and Marla are Amazon’s greatest friends.