Tag / Looks Good on Paper

by zbicyclist

Merry Christmas

Just as in TV shows and movies, we don’t see people on the toilet, there must be part of the Santa experience they don’t show.

Santa – the true story

Yes, Fuzzy Math Gurus, there is a Santa Claus.

There are “facts” floating around the internet, “proving” that one Santa just couldn’t do it all, but they fail too see the obvious conclusion — FRANCHISING!  This also explains why “Santa” is often known as “Santa Claus”. 


Let me explain:

1.  Yes, it’s true Santa would need to make 822.6 visits per second, or 2,961,360 per hour.  However, if we assume that there are 740,340 worldwide Santas (the exact number is known only to the Salvation Army), then each Santa has to make 1 visit only every 15 minutes.

2.  Roughly speaking, this is

5 minutes for travel (footnote below)
1 minute for sorting out that house’s gifts
1 minute for chimney diving / lock picking
3 minutes for gift arranging
2 minutes for cookie eating
1 minute for exiting premises and returning to sleigh
2 minutes “slack” time for unforseen events (most commonly, large dogs)
—
15 minutes

3.  “Santa” is, of course, a very sought after title, and the geographic franchises to be the local “Santa” are subject to yearly adjustments due to population shifts.  The changes in the legal paragraphs governing geographic territories in the “Santa” agreement are called “Santa Clauses”, a term which eventually has been commonly applied to “Santas” themselves.

Thanks for the opportunity to clear this up.

Footnote: The travel time has been reduced considerably in this century by the use of “jet sleighs” manufactured by Boeing.  The original model 7 sleigh, in fact, is what gave the Boeing corporation its name.  Elves, noticing how the new sleighs (with, sadly, aluminum reindeer) bounced from housetop to housetop, cheered “Boing! Boing!”, which in an Elvin accent sounded like “Boeing! Boeing!”. 

[Mike Kruger, December 2003]

by multipleciduers

Saturday Morning OYs – December 20, 2025

Boise Ed sends this in: “This strip takes place on a space station. Florence (on the left) is a canine who has been given human-level intelligence. Her human co-worker’s advice is so right!”

Mitch4 sends this in: “Not strictly speaking a pun, but based on verbal ambiguity and misunderstanding.”

One of the copyist errors in the New Testament?

Similarly:

by zbicyclist

Sunday Funnies – LOLs – September 21, 2025

Fall equinox tomorrow, September 22.

Dirk the Daring sends this in: “Not a CIDU, but this can’t possibly be a coincidence, right?  I’d guess Mr. Pett is knowledgeable about music. At least one commenter besides me noticed it.”

Not every day is an exciting day, even if you are a superhero.

by Kilby

There’s a reason the artist picked that logo…

… and it had nothing to do with product placement for Amazon. It’s even possible that he might have been able to use Nike’s logo, instead.

…
Boise Ed submitted this “Looks Good on Paper” strip as a CIDU, commenting: “How is a truck wreck supposed to be funny? Maybe if it had spilled something funny, but that’s not the case here.“

I agree that it’s not extremely funny, but it’s still worth a small smile. The author was careful to show that nobody was seriously injured (the truck driver can be seen at the right edge of the strip). The gag is based on “anthropomorphic pareidolia“, or in other words, interpreting an expression on a face that isn’t really there. The trucks wheels look a little like eyes, so that the inverted logo looks like a “sad” mouth. Parallels can also be drawn to the inverted Jeep bumper stickers that we discussed back in July.

P.S. If anyone is interested in discovering a whole series of such “facial expression” effects, I recommend watching Pixar’s short film “The Blue Umbrella“.

by Kilby

Passing Exactly the Same Gasses

I think that these comics are closer to EWWWs, but DollarBill submitted them as synchronous OYs, commenting “same day, same theme, juxtaposition next to each other in my GoComics daily feed“. The latter is not surprising, given that the titles are alphabetically adjacent to each other:

Blazek’s comic was a brief CIDU for me, but it wasn’t that hard to figure out. If there ever was a feature that GoComics should have renamed for just one day, this was it:

Dan Collins wasn’t taking any chances with misunderstandings: the label on the bubble seems gratuitous and unnecessarily crude, but without it, the color might not have been enough to identify the contents, since he did not indicate the precise location of the source.

…
P.S. No matter how it was generated, a bubble that large would have a good chance of capsizing that boat. Aerated water has a much lower density, and cannot support the same weight as normal water, so the vessel sinks. This is a factor with depth charges used against submarines. Even if the explosion itself does not cause a leak, the reduced buoyancy may cause the submarine to fall to a depth where the water pressure is too high, fatally damaging the hull (as happened in the Ocean Gate disaster last year).

by EditorM

Clearing a route to the garbage (Random retro LOLs, 2019 or before, Part 3) 

The elevator call button scenario is a familiar trope for Horace :

But others are not banned from exploring a similar idea:

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An OY!