Category / CIDU

by phsiii

Eating your own dogfood?

(OK, that’s not really the right title but)

Another from JMcAndrew:

Why is he scratching himself with his foot? Is the joke supposed to be that his wife is feeding him dog meat and he’s mimicking dog behavior?

I dunno either. But it does make me think of the classic joke:

I was at the grocery store checkout buying a large bag of dog biscuits and a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. I was feeling a bit crabby, so I told her no, I was starting The Dog Biscuit Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because although last time I lost 50 pounds, I ended up in the hospital in intensive care.

Her eyes about popped out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that they’re nutritionally complete: the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with biscuits and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

Finally she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I calmly said no…I was sitting in the street licking myself when a car hit me.

by zbicyclist

Rubes Cubed

BVCC sends this in: “Has Leigh Rubin lost his marbles? Three CIDUs in a row. I almost get see something in Friday’s, with “load” having a scatological connotation. But it doesn’t seem like a joke to me. And I don’t get “horse property” or “Lilliputian Marines” at all.”

Here’s the earlier ones BVCC refers to:

A search for “horse property” pulls up this one: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3113-Camino-Del-Rancho-Encinitas-CA-92024/52510076_zpid/ Put in your bids now!

Your editor, a statistician, finds it interesting that the question of “where are there a lot of horses?” depends somewhat on how you map the data. All 3 maps are from Brilliant Maps, with the data originating with the USDA. For example, Fayette County, KY is #1 in horses per square mile, but not even in the top 10 in horses per capita.

by zbicyclist

Old Men

JMcAndrew sends in these two, with an old man theme: “Trying to figure this one out. I’ve seen the movie “Grumpy Old Men” and don’t think that Walter Matthau looks anything like Saddam Hussein.”

JMcAndrew: I get the joke and I have seen “Blow Out” which is actually an excellent film. Submitted as an obvious eww but also considered that Travolta is now over 70 it wouldn’t be that surprising to find out he does have need for incontinence products.