1. McPherson seems to have pulled those numbers out of a hat (or an unmentionable part of his anatomy). 22321 days is over 61 years, which is way too long for any activity (with the possible exception of “breathing”). If we feel charitable, the comma might be a decimal point, but 22.3 days is way too short (that would be two minutes of commuting per day over a 45 year career). Compare this to 979 days, which works out to 53 minutes of shaving per day over a 72 year lifetime.
    P.S. I have now wasted more time dissecting this comic than McPherson spent in thinking it up.

  2. My immediate thought was, is he counting the time spent standing in _this_ line (that the person being reviewed just got to the head of)? No way to tell, but it’s interesting either way…

  3. I did the same calculations Kilby did and also realized that the numbers made no sense.

    St. Peter is supposed to review the good and bad things you did to see if you’re eligible for Heaven (as I understand it). I think the attempt at humor is that he’s instead reviewing minutia. Or maybe it has to do with that last category. If he does this with everyone, they’re all going to be standing in that line for a lo-o-o-ng time.

    And I’m not going to change any of what I said just because jjmcgaffey beat me to it.

  4. Two people saying the numbers don’t make any sense but neither mentioning the total. 57,616 days, as mentioned here, would mean this person lived to be 157.75 years old, assuming they did nothing else. 30 years just on mowing the lawn seems way out of wack.

    I expect The Moody Blues selected 22,000 days because it scanned well in the song, but it’s closer to a human lifetime than this comic.

  5. And, on the subject of classic rock songs and statistics, “Don’t Fear the Reaper” states that 40,000 people die every day. In 1976, the real number was about 140,000.

  6. No, the numbers are not even near plausible.

    And I can’t see how this accounting fits with the traditional entrance exam procedures. Maybe “voluntarily wasting your time on useless pleasures” would be sinful, but not really “being obliged to waste time in necessary chores”.

  7. My first through was how wrong the ratio of the amount of time on each task ends up being. Spending half the time you work mowing the lawn? Standing in line is equal to 2/3 of your work time? If you work 40 hours/week, that would mean standing in line 26 hours a week and mowing the lawn 20 hours/week on average, which would generally mean even more hours in the summer months.

  8. Why are they still using a CRT monitor in heaven? Shouldn’t they have converted to a flat screen by now?

  9. Well, those of us who work from home might hit the “two minutes a day” mark. But yeah.
    (Semi-related: company sent email saying that mileage would only be reimbursed for travel further than our normal commute. Friend suggested I start charging mileage for when I walk to my mailbox to pick up my pay stub.)

  10. You don’t even have to do the math to show this makes no sense. Over ten times longer mowing the lawn than shaving? The guy must have had a giant shaggy lawn and a tiny un-shaggy beard.

  11. Numbers shmumbers. I choose to believe my full beard and lawn-free house are adding decades to my useful life.

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