1. A variant of “I don’t work well under pressure” or “Well I can’t work with you standing there watching me.” He’s a smooth criminal, just don’t look at him.

  2. Yeah. New inmate explaining to his cellmate (whose bunk has a lot of time-marking tick marks). Normally he would get away with (his usual crime), but this time there was a surveillance camera and that’s why he’s in jail.

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