1. There was a colloquial term “elephant turds” for the white concrete hemispheric driving blockers people could stick into the ground (with a spike on the flat side) to prevent driving or parking in some area,

  2. I used to live on the 22nd floor. I would see people walking their dogs but they didn’t know anyone could see them. People with dogs do not pick up dog turds if they think nobody is watching.

    As for urology, could be a stone or somebody might need to stick a finger in the jack and give it the old DRE.

  3. I thought the first one was the funniest of the three, even if those turds don‘t look that elephantine.

  4. The last one was the grossest by making you think about it to find the icky joke in there. I could imagine that one happening on its own as a bad internet thing.

  5. I must be the only person who believes that my having dogs does NOT entitle me to let them urinate/defecate on others’ lawns. When did that become a dog owner’s right, anyway? (I won’t go into detail about WHY it isn’t a good idea to do so, but those of you who have dogs will understand.)

  6. Maybe 70 years ago, my dad took me to the circus in Detroit. We were up close, but seated behind an elephant…safely behind, as it turned out. One of us noticed a growing swelling under the elephant’s tale. It grew to about the size of three basketballs in my memory, and eventually a turd, maybe the size of one basketball, emerged and fell. We were awed. In the comic, the elephant’s effluent appears soft and spiraling. My memory is that the circus elephant’s was round, more like that from a horse.

  7. P.S. @ Bob Ball – We went to a medium-small German circus just a few weeks ago; one of their elephants unloaded an impressive amount near the end of one of the acts. Your memory (of “round”) is correct, and “horse” is a fair comparison, but doesn’t quite do justice to the dimensions.

  8. Cows are ruminants with multiple stomachs and a complex digestive system, so they more thoroughly process the materials.

  9. Anyone recqall Damon Knight’s short story “The Big Pat Boom,” in which the only thing aliens with specific artistic tastes want to buy from Earth is — well, the title gives it away.

  10. What is the guy in the second comic referring to? Humans? Is this enough of a thing to make a joke out of it? I can’t say I’ve seen a lot of human excrement lying around sidewalks. Either I’m lucky, or I’ve missed the joke.

  11. @ Andréa – It depends on the size of the circus. First Ringling Bros. retired all their elephants, then the bookkeeping department retired the rest of Ringling Bros. Although Cirque du Soleil makes a point about not using animals in any of their acts, I’m not sure whether restricting incredibly onerous (bordering on abusive) training programs exclusively to humans should count as “humanitarian”. Nevertheless, I would expect that just like in Europe, there are probably still some smaller American circus operations that still have animal acts, even including elephants.

  12. @ Stan – I figured that he meant other (more exotic) pet animals.
    P.S. The last time we found a “deposit” in our front yard, the location was even too blatant for a dog. At first I guessed “cat”, but I finally figured out that it must have been one of the local martens (think “weasel”).

  13. The larger German circuses have generally phased out animal acts. Some of the big, but not major circuses have kept dog and horse acts, which I’m generally okay with. Mostly you can tell that those animals are having fun. There are also one or two shows (not really circuses) that are entirely horse-based and have a sort of story.

  14. “I’m not sure whether restricting incredibly onerous (bordering on abusive) training programs exclusively to humans should count as “humanitarian”.”

    The difference being that the humans make a choice; the animals have the choice made for them.

  15. SOMEone in our subdivision uses blue p**p bags, BUT then leaves THEM lying on the sidewalk/lawn/wherever, so the second comic resonates with me.

  16. @ Andréa – You can‘t always tell when an animal is having fun, but it is easier to tell when an animal is not having fun. I didn‘t want to bring the subject up before, but the elephants we saw in December were definitely not in good shape, and I would never pay money to see that particular circus ever again. For all I know, that one elephant may have been taking revenge on his (more than a little incompetent) trainer.
    P.S. @ “bags” – Thanks for restoring my confidence in the stupidity of the human race. There is at least one moron in our town who does that with those bags, but I figured that it was just a single criminally insane idiot. Knowing that there are other equally stupid individuals running around is strangely reassuring.
    P.P.S. Stan wanted an explanation for #2, not #3.

  17. The bag thing is incredibly common. Living in Canada, it is not uncommon to find an incredible number of turd bombs when the snow melts. Remember when I said that dog owners do not pick up turds when they think nobody is watching? The second part of that is that if they do pick it up, they toss the bag as soon as possible.

  18. @Anrdéa: As Kilby said, you can definitely tell when an animal isn’t having fun. And if you’re familiar enough with dogs, you can tell when they’re really enjoying themselves as opposed to doing a thing they don’t mind doing just to please someone or doing something they outright hate. According to the two horse people in my life, the same goes for horses and the stuff they do in circuses is relatively fun for them.

  19. I don’t understand this at all . . . if you get a dog, you KNOW you’re going to have to clean up after it. It’s tantamount to NOT cleaning your cat’s litter box (yech – litter box) . . . so, what’s the issue? Was the owner SURPRISED that his/her dog defecated?? Geez . . .

  20. There is a local circus (Circus Flora). From looking at some images, it seems as though they have horse, dog, and pig acts. For the latter, a circus might be a pretty good gig compared to their usual career path.

  21. When I saw Gunther Gebel-Williams and his lions, one lion in particular seemed to enjoy being part of the show. Williams petted him and cuddled him and picked him up and carried him around the ring on his shoulders, then put him down, sat on him and rode him offstage. They were good buddies.

  22. Can you tell when an animal is happy?
    Here is an astronaut returning home after 11 months on the space station.

  23. From what I read, although Gunther Gebel Williams had scars from breaking up lion fights, he was never directly attacked by any of his animals. That makes him a rarity among lion tamers.

  24. Our neighbor on the side of our property next to our driveway (which is along our side of the property line) has a pit bull. They let the dog out in the yard to “go”. He will at some time during the time he is outside come to the front of the yard (inside a cyclone fence of about 4 feet tall – that he jumps taller than). He goes crazy when we go out – but he is in the fence and we talk to him and he usually calms down (sometimes we have to enter and leave our RV which is parked on our side of the fence from the driver’s door to avoid him if we need to do work in it when he is out) or have we wait for him to go back in. (Have I ever mentioned that I am afraid of animals?)

    We have also noticed, as separate matter, that we always seem to have more leaves than our neighbors on either side, despite them having more trees than the one we have. Finally found that their gardeners get rid of their leaves by blowing them on our property for us – the old couple – to deal with. This was discovered when we caught the gardener of the other neighbor blowing the leaves on our property -and then again when clearing the leaves next to the house with the house with the dog and when Robert stepped in the leaves he also stepped into … Well apparently their gardener blew the leaves onto our property along with semi dried leavings of the dog. Ewwww!

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