Speaking of which… when we want to talk with the kids, or they with us, we’ll generally first send a text message “Good time for a call?” I don’t think we could have predicted 15 years ago that this would be the new normal, but it just makes sense: we might be busy, they might be busy, we might be eating dinner, they might be eating dinner, we might be out, they might be out, we might be cooking strawberry jam…
I know we’re not the only ones.
Comics I Don't Understand 
Texting family “Is there a good time to chat tonight?” is my norm. My family, however, has not picked up on my cue and returned the favor. But what does “being out” have to do with anything? With landlines all but obsolete, what is “in” and “out”? There are convenient times to talk and inconvenient times to talk.
Not sure I understand that logic. I guess a text message is generally considered less intrusive than a call, but my kids know that they don’t have to answer when I call if they are busy. Or they can ask if they can call me back. A response is required with a text just like a call.
Catlover, if one of us is driving, or we’re at a restaurant, it’s not a good time for a chat.
My first MIL would stop in constantly, ’cause she was ‘just driving by’. Considering that we lived in NJ and she lived in WI, I didn’t buy this excuse. It got worse when we returned to WI and were back to living in the same city. Oh, the things we should’ve done differently when we were younger . . .
They’re responding as a courtesy to you; the young ‘uns don’t call at all, unless it’s with one of us.
The voice phone call system already has a method of indicating “now isn’t a good time for a voice conversation”. It’s called “not picking up”.
James, isn’t just ignoring a family member’s call a bit rude?
Though I have done the texting thing, I don’t think the onus is on the caller. I have been known to answer a call with “Can I call you back in 10 min?” when it’s a well-known person on the call display. The receiver can speak up and say they’re busy.
I now work at home with all my colleagues in other countries. We use WhatsApp as a common chatroom for business discussion as need and for some banter as well. We also have other chatrooms specific for the various projects we have where discussions for those on those projects occur. However, even if we’re active in the chats, we’ll always confirm if it is a good time for a voice call with someone if it’s needed.
Text is a great way to communicate because it can be immediate or asynchronous, as the situation requires. It can be frustrating at times, but, on the whole, it’s great.
My parents, rest in peace, never went electronic. No e-mail, no mobile phones, no text. It wasn’t always the best time when they called, but I do miss those calls now. I can’t even remember whatever tasks they were interrupting.
“James, isn’t just ignoring a family member’s call a bit rude?”
Not if (as you mention) you’re driving, or bringing in the groceries, or trying to get the cat back inside. Rudeness is a matter of intent. Busyness is just busyness.
Obviously if you can’t safely answer the phone, you don’t answer — but if you simply don’t feel like talking because there’s something else you’d rather be doing, isn’t everybody better served by a “text first” policy?
“James, isn’t just ignoring a family member’s call a bit rude?”
Why would it be?
I guess I’m a Luddite of sorts; I still prefer email. My dumbPhone can’t text, and I rarely answer calls (my only important calls were my parents’ and Hubby’s; parents are deceased and Hubby is usually at home), preferring to look at the missed call list at my convenience. (Altho, if Hubby is not at home, I DO keep my phone handy; drivers in FL are cray-cray.)
Only Jimmy Johnson could get away with a little curved line here, a little curved line there to draw side-boob in a family comic strip. Well done! Arlo Award candidate for sure.
You know, Gene really should have been the one to answer the phone. He’s just cutting the strawberries. The jam has to be stirred pretty constantly while it boils, so it made no sense for Mary Lou to be the one to pick up.
She only needs one hand; he needs two.
No one in my family texts. None of us has a smartphone.
Husband’s sister only texts. He can only text her. Her cellphone has too many messages and the voice mail is full. They went something like 2 years after Hurricane Sandy unable to use their telephone at home (paying for it monthly though) as she found it too inconvenient to be home for them to rewire to the house – their property is an acre – the driveway is 3/4 of the acre, now that she has service again her voice mail is full. My sister asked for SIL’s email address to send a party invite for mom’s party – she doesn’t have one, I told my sister to text SIL. And short of an emergency when she needs instant help, she only texts while we are eating dinner – even if Robert tells her that we will be at dinner – don’t try to reach us from X to Y.
Robert and I have taken to texting between ourselves as he only has 100 phone minutes (I have unlimited) as we both have unlimited texts. What annoys the heck out of me is I will text him something which does not need a response – “taking garbage out” for example. He feels the need to text back “OK” – I don’t need permission to take the garbage out and invariably it comes while I am in the middle of schlepping the garbage down the driveway, even worse I will text something while away from the house, he does not get it right away and I will be driving when he texts back. I came up with “NAN”. I told him that if I put NAN at the end of a message it means no answer needed.
Mom does not use her cell phone unless it is an emergency (she told my sister it was on the other day, sister called her, she does not know how to answer it, only makes calls) and keeps it off as she is on my sister’s family group and does not want to use up their minutes. My sister bought mom Alexa – ha ha, hope she can use it.