13 Comments

1. 

   Death is named Frankie…

2. 

   No, when Frankie says relax, it’s the little death.

3. 

   But when Death says relax it is of the bowels.

4. 

   Yes, there was one with the houseplants, where his scythe was replaced by a weed whacker. (I unfortunately was of the party remaining late to see that and calling it a scythe even after clarified.)

5. 

   The second one was “yogurt” (not “houseplants”), and the guy at the door was already eating the yogurt.

6. 

   “I CREDIT SIR TERRY PRATCHETT FOR THE ONSLAUGHT OF JOKES ABOUT ME,” says DEATH.

7. 

   I have a birthday balloon that states, “RELAX. I’M JUST HERE FOR THE CAKE.”

8. 

   I kind of liked Death on Family Guy. “Oh you’re going to run. I caught Flo-Jo, you don’t think I can catch you?”

   Referring to track star Florence Joyner.

9. 

   That reminds me of two hikers entering bear country, whereupon one takes off his boots and puts on a pair of sneakers. His partner comments, “You don’t actually think those things are going to help you outrun a bear, do you?“, to which the first one replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you!“

10. 

    “when Frankie says relax, it’s the little death.”

    Or: Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death [….]

11. 

    Wife at the breakfast table: “All you think about is golf. Golf, golf golf.”
    Husband: “I assure you golf is the furthest thing from my mind. Now please pass the putter.”

12. 

    “when Frankie says relax, it’s the little death.”

    If Frankie says relax, you’re looking at a counterfeit t-shirt. The originals are “Frankie say relax”.

13. 

    There is a TV commercial in which the wife (I presume she is a wife) sees death in her kitchen and is in a panic. He indicates that he is there for her refrigerator. “The refrigerator – you’re killing me.” Then realizes what she said and tries to back out of what she said.