It’s the poodle that stumps me. I know what a standard poodle is–friend had one, bog-standard except for floppy ears option (also uncharacteristically dumb as a post: it would frequently sleep under the kitchen table, then wake up and run headlong into a table leg). But what makes this a SUBstandard poodle? I do like the biscuit-shaped phone case!
Comics I Don't Understand 
Is it a biscuit shaped phone case or is it just a biscuit? Thinking a biscuit is a phone could be thought to be substandard.
@Ian +1 — the poo-dahl is trying to make a call with his Milk-Bone.
How about a Virtuous Bernard? A Plasma Hound? An Irish Fidgeter?
A Sinner Bernard? A Hawaiian Malamute? A Kennedy Onassis des Flandres?
The fur cut of a poodle is what makes it looks like that. I am terrified of animals – including dogs – since I was a child. So, of course, my middle sister loved animals. While in junior high I went on a trip with my Hebrew school – big mistake – when I returned home my sister had a dog.
The dog had been saved from a shelter. It was a small poodle – but one would never know same as it did not have a normal poodle cut – it just looked like – well – a dog.