This is a massive LOL, and jam-packed with easy and harder allusions as a sort-of CIDU element. Hey, I’m still struggling to decide if a particular Frederick Wiseman film is invoked. And is Sprechtswimming best understood in relation to Sprechstimme?
Comics I Don't Understand 
The weights do look like movie reels.
What are those overhead arcs the sprecht swimmers are holding? And do the upward radiating lines indicate that they are speaking?
(Could you define the difference between Sprechstimme and talkin’ blues and rap? )
@ deety (2) – Those are “swimming” or “water noodles”, a popular pool toy (at least here in Germany). They are about six feet long, three or four inches in diameter, and are made of flexible, foamed polyethylene, so they float.
Thanks, Kilby! Although, now I’m even less confident about making sense of the Classes section. Tne Cardio is pretty good as it is. And Weights works if we say those are not empty reels but have films on them – and documentary shorts would be for the limited exercise shown while a full Frederick Wiseman doc would be suited to the press as shown. Except … I didn’t think he was noted for exceptionally long features. Maybe just that they are “weighty”??
The Titti Cutt Follies!
Kilby: “Pool noodles” here (interesting that the “noodles” is common). Still don’t get the connection with speaking?!
“I used to be able to read a whole book.”
I relate to this so hard. The internet has ruined my attention span. (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.)
Can’t say I get all the allusions, but as someone who reads and who used to be a fitness trainer, I find this hysterical!
I believe, “Where the elite meet to get athlete’s feet,” in addition to being a good line, is a nod to Groening’s “Life in Hell” strip. It may be that the entire strip is intended as an homage. LIH has a periodic gag where Akbar and Jeff advertise their latest small business, always with a slogan that starts with, “Where the elite meet to. . .”
Since I stopped being a productive member of society back in 2018, I now read a lot of books. In fact it was one of my goals after leaving Megacorp.
As I’ve mentioned before, I used to be a faithful reader of Cat and Girl. I drifted away at some point, but can’t really say why. I do appreciate the occasional glimpses here.
I think I’d rather see a Gym For Silly People.