1. I could be a CIDU…. sort of. What happens if he orders the rings? Gollum will say “my precious”, which he’s doing anyway, and someone will figure out a tortured way to declare someone, who exactly and why, the Lord of the Rings, and they’ll all laugh at a stupid joke that wasn’t funny, but… is that so bad? I mean, isn’t your life just as bad whether this happens or not?

  2. What really bothered me about this is that TGIFriday’s isn’t a fast food place, but a sit-down restaurant, so the entire concept fell apart from the get-go. For me, anyway, and I know next-to-nothing about the rings part.

  3. For me, this wouldn’t be a CIDU, but it’s not really weird, either. More an “Is that all there is?” (ITATI)

    It seems like the entire joke is that the word “ring” appears in both LOTR, and a food item. Other than that, nothing makes any sense, or connects the two types of “ring.”

  4. I really don’t want to know what’s in Smeagol’s nuggets. Chinken nungets, most likely.

    Also, Smeagol’s not known for actually cooking anything. Prefers it raw.

  5. Are we supposed to make any connection between the deep-fat fryer and the lava pit of Mt. Doom? Maybe Gollum refuses to part with the rings, so the counter guy has to go back and try to lower them into the fryer himself, and then Gollum bites off his finger but falls into the fryer as well? Man, I guess fast food jobs really are the pits.

  6. Since Gollum is Smeagol, won’t the problem be solved the first time someone orders “Smeagol nuggets” and Gollum is butchered and chopped up?

  7. @ MiB – Butchered and chopped up is more palatable than the other obvious possibility (that those “nuggets” are only available in pairs).
    P.S. @ Brian in StL – Back when I was in college, there was a Mexican place in L.A. that offered a “Meat Burrito”. Not “beef”, nor “chicken”, nor “pork”, just “meat”. This was decades before the “pink slime” scandal, so we wondered whether “rodent” or “road kill” might be the answer to the identity of this “mystery meat”.

  8. @Kilby: Usually, when a place has meat burrito or enchilada or whatever on the menu, it means you tell the person taking your order which meat you want in it. Saves space on the menu.

  9. @ DemetriosX – I would believe that if it were any of the well-known national chains, but they would be wise enough to list the available options in a footnote. This was a “hole in the wall” place, rather suspicious even apart from that one menu item.

  10. @Kilby: Oh, so a really good Mexican place. Those sketchy, hole-in-the-wall places always have the best food (well, at least if they’re staffed by Mexicans). I’ve never had one do me wrong.

    *sigh* Decent Mexican food is one of the few things I miss about living in the States.

  11. I am quite happy to live in a country without an obscene fascination with guns (and the corresponding murder rate). I can limp along with my own (far too tame) versions of tacos and burritos.

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