“Always with the crummy jokes . . . or sarcasm.” Who needs to be made to feel dumber than he already does?
Dad jokes, even to other dads.
“What’s that up in the road? A head?”
When you come to a fork in the road, take it!
But if you do take it, be sure to wash it before using it. It’s been in the road, for crying out loud.
Wow… talk about a massive bungle.
Okay, the joke is that men hate to ask for directions because other men will tell horrible jokes when giving directions. Or we can expand it further that men hate to ask for directions because men give obnoxious directions. But that really doesn’t work– they can ask women, women should hate men’s obnoxious directions even more so, if men hate obnoxious direction given then why the #@!* do they do it, etc.
This is a rather astonishing example of a very funny set up with little need of a caption and then a massive fumbling upon delivery.
” that really doesn’t work– they can ask women”
Men are known to avoid listening to women, on occasion.
The truth is that men hate stopping, and asking directions is just one of a long list of things they hate stopping for. Men will more-or-less happily take directions from Google Maps… and if those directions are incorrect, they’ll keep going, following the directions. But they’ll grumble every time they have to stop to let passengers have access to plumbing, even if they need access to plumbing, too.
He’d have gotten the same response if he’d asked Tine Daly.
“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.” -Dave Barry
Turn left at the fork in the road…
And after the fork in the road, you drive to the Slauson Cutoff, get out of your car, cut off your Slauson, get back in your car…
Then you keep on going straight, and there’s a big old red barn. Now three miles before the big old red barn, you turn left, and keep on going until you come to the old Jameson house, there ain’t nothin there now, they tore it down long ago, but at the corner where the old Jameson house used to be, you turn right.
Mr. Barry has a flaw in his theory… around half the spermatozoa lack Y chomosomes.
Why won’t men ask for directions?
Because we know where the $%*# we’re going and if you’d just stop you %*&#*^@ nattering for two God-damned seconds so we could hear ourselves think, everything would be just fine.
As for Mrs. SingaporeBill, if you are ever with her and not sure which way to go, ask her and then go the opposite way.
Robert has a GPS app in his cell phone called Co-Pilot. It can be set to car or truck/RV mode. It has never been that good. The voice had a problem with twent-E it read it is twent -eye as in route twent-eye four. In the RV mode it has been known to send us onto a parkway (low clearance, no trucks, buses, or commercial plates) even though we cannot go on same. It is also the GPS that likes to send us in the wrong direction, then sends us blocks back on a different road, then tell us to make a U-turn and drive through a shopping center to make a left turn – across 3 lanes of traffic with no traffic light to stop it.
Now the company has been sold and then the program updated. It now sends us up one way streets the wrong way. the voice resets to default every time the program is turned off – not only is it the not the voice we want to hear, but it no longer lets one know in advance of the turns unless one remembers to reset the voice before driving. Updates have changed to $60/year. And they can’t understand why people are complaining. The one good thing I can say about it – it does not think our driveway is a street and does not tell us to go straight when pulling out of the driveway, which would involve drive through our garage and the house behind us and then having to drive back to the street we are on.
And on a recent trip we found out that Waze will tell one that there is a multi-hour traffic jam ahead, but does not reroute one to avoid any traffic area. I cut an hour and a half off of what it said it would take – 2.5 hours – to where we were going by getting off the PA Turnpike, heading south, then west and then north again.
Wives are better than GPS – for so many reasons.
Muppet move? My favourite directions line of all time:
I meant to point out that I did recently stop and ask for directions in the Providence, RI area. The girls behind the counter weren’t of much help to me, sadly.
My brother-in-law once came upon a fork in the road, and following Yogi Berra’s advice, he took it; it was a pitch-fork, and he wanted to make sure no one would accidentally run over it. It was wonderful to be able to gleefully shout Yogi’s maxim at him, and it be actually followed.
Women don’t understand that we kind of LIKE getting lost. You see stuff you’ve never seen, and drive around a while. And you’ll figure it out, it isn’t like you’re going to be lost permanently and have to live wherever you are now.
@ignatzz: “it isn’t like you’re going to be lost permanently and have to live wherever you are now.”
I was going to say that actually what happened to Begbick, Moses, and Fatty the Bookkeeper once, but on second thought they were more “trapped and hiding out permanently” than “lost.”
Comics I Don't Understand 
“Always with the crummy jokes . . . or sarcasm.” Who needs to be made to feel dumber than he already does?
Dad jokes, even to other dads.
“What’s that up in the road? A head?”
When you come to a fork in the road, take it!
But if you do take it, be sure to wash it before using it. It’s been in the road, for crying out loud.
Wow… talk about a massive bungle.
Okay, the joke is that men hate to ask for directions because other men will tell horrible jokes when giving directions. Or we can expand it further that men hate to ask for directions because men give obnoxious directions. But that really doesn’t work– they can ask women, women should hate men’s obnoxious directions even more so, if men hate obnoxious direction given then why the #@!* do they do it, etc.
This is a rather astonishing example of a very funny set up with little need of a caption and then a massive fumbling upon delivery.
” that really doesn’t work– they can ask women”
Men are known to avoid listening to women, on occasion.
The truth is that men hate stopping, and asking directions is just one of a long list of things they hate stopping for. Men will more-or-less happily take directions from Google Maps… and if those directions are incorrect, they’ll keep going, following the directions. But they’ll grumble every time they have to stop to let passengers have access to plumbing, even if they need access to plumbing, too.
He’d have gotten the same response if he’d asked Tine Daly.
“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.” -Dave Barry
Turn left at the fork in the road…
And after the fork in the road, you drive to the Slauson Cutoff, get out of your car, cut off your Slauson, get back in your car…
Then you keep on going straight, and there’s a big old red barn. Now three miles before the big old red barn, you turn left, and keep on going until you come to the old Jameson house, there ain’t nothin there now, they tore it down long ago, but at the corner where the old Jameson house used to be, you turn right.
Mr. Barry has a flaw in his theory… around half the spermatozoa lack Y chomosomes.
Why won’t men ask for directions?
Because we know where the $%*# we’re going and if you’d just stop you %*&#*^@ nattering for two God-damned seconds so we could hear ourselves think, everything would be just fine.
As for Mrs. SingaporeBill, if you are ever with her and not sure which way to go, ask her and then go the opposite way.
Robert has a GPS app in his cell phone called Co-Pilot. It can be set to car or truck/RV mode. It has never been that good. The voice had a problem with twent-E it read it is twent -eye as in route twent-eye four. In the RV mode it has been known to send us onto a parkway (low clearance, no trucks, buses, or commercial plates) even though we cannot go on same. It is also the GPS that likes to send us in the wrong direction, then sends us blocks back on a different road, then tell us to make a U-turn and drive through a shopping center to make a left turn – across 3 lanes of traffic with no traffic light to stop it.
Now the company has been sold and then the program updated. It now sends us up one way streets the wrong way. the voice resets to default every time the program is turned off – not only is it the not the voice we want to hear, but it no longer lets one know in advance of the turns unless one remembers to reset the voice before driving. Updates have changed to $60/year. And they can’t understand why people are complaining. The one good thing I can say about it – it does not think our driveway is a street and does not tell us to go straight when pulling out of the driveway, which would involve drive through our garage and the house behind us and then having to drive back to the street we are on.
And on a recent trip we found out that Waze will tell one that there is a multi-hour traffic jam ahead, but does not reroute one to avoid any traffic area. I cut an hour and a half off of what it said it would take – 2.5 hours – to where we were going by getting off the PA Turnpike, heading south, then west and then north again.
Wives are better than GPS – for so many reasons.
Muppet move? My favourite directions line of all time:
Kermit: Bear left! Bear left!
Fozzie: Right, frog!
https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/fork-in-the-road
I meant to point out that I did recently stop and ask for directions in the Providence, RI area. The girls behind the counter weren’t of much help to me, sadly.
My brother-in-law once came upon a fork in the road, and following Yogi Berra’s advice, he took it; it was a pitch-fork, and he wanted to make sure no one would accidentally run over it. It was wonderful to be able to gleefully shout Yogi’s maxim at him, and it be actually followed.
Women don’t understand that we kind of LIKE getting lost. You see stuff you’ve never seen, and drive around a while. And you’ll figure it out, it isn’t like you’re going to be lost permanently and have to live wherever you are now.
@ignatzz: “it isn’t like you’re going to be lost permanently and have to live wherever you are now.”
I was going to say that actually what happened to Begbick, Moses, and Fatty the Bookkeeper once, but on second thought they were more “trapped and hiding out permanently” than “lost.”