If I could draw, I’d do my own version of this story:
When I was in elementary school, “bum” was the go-to Halloween costume for most of the boys.
Then came Halloween, 1964: our parents were away and our grandparents were staying with us. From the Old Country. And old, though in hindsight about the same age I am now.
And my grandmother did not get the whole “dress up like a bum” concept.
And that meant it wasn’t happening.
So on the day of the school’s Halloween parade, my brother and I dressed in the oldest clothing we could get away with, and detoured through a sort of alley filled with dirt and fallen leaves…
… and messed ourselves up the best we could.
(When I was back in town last weekend for my high school reunion, I took photos of the old neighborhood — which hasn’t changed at all, other than more foreign cars and fewer tail-fins — never suspecting I’d be using one of them on the CIDU page a week later)
Comics I Don't Understand 
I recall that the hobo / bum thing required a grownup coat of some kind and a grownup hat. You had to differentiate usual grubby from intentional grubby.
The hat might be a cheap plastic job molded in the shape of a crushed top hat, that being the universal symbol in cartoons. A very indulgent mother might baste on some big square patches. If you had money to spend, you’d go for the hat, the big fake cigar, waxy stuff to black out a few teeth, and maybe do the clown variation with red nose and big fake shoes.
The basic boxed costumes annoyed me, even as a kid. Plastic mask and something like glitzy surgical scrubs, labeled with the name and likeness of the character you were supposed to be.
“When I was in elementary school, “bum” was the go-to Halloween costume for most of the boys.”
Really? We *loved* halloween and went to great lengths thinking up our creative and clever costumes months ahead of time. It’s only as an adult I don’t the whatevers easiest approach.
“The basic boxed costumes annoyed me, even as a kid. Plastic mask and something like glitzy surgical scrubs, labeled with the name and likeness of the character you were supposed to be.”
I always wanted to make a plastic mask of me and to put my name in glitzy print and with a picture of me walking or reading a book on the scrubs. Then my costume would be …. someone else in a store bought costume of me.
Yeah, we used to put a lot of effort into our costumes. One year (about 1973) I did a space suit, with painted tennis-ball-can air tanks, various hoses, etc., and a flashbulb attachment on the helmet. I snuck out the back door, went to the front, and rang the bell. When my mom opened the door I triggered the flashbulb; first words out of her mouth were, “You are NOT doing that to the neighbors!”
That might have been the year that a guy around the corner did up his house with scary music and the like (nothing special nowadays, but *nobody* did that back then). When we rang the bell, he opened the door holding a butcher knife and wearing a costume, put down a paper sack of candy, and said “Take some…if you dare!”
So I grabbed the bag and took off down the walk. “Hey! Get the **** back here!” he yelled (and I did). Served him right, though.
Kids today–way too many don’t even do a “bum”. They put on a Redskins jersey and think that counts–if that; some are just wearing everyday clothes. I’m always tempted to give them Finish Dishwasher Tabs–the ones in the foil that look like Fun-Size candy bars. But of course that would get me a visit from de po-lice, these days…(or, worse, the wee morons would eat them and videotape it, a la Tide Pods!)
I went with “bum” a lot. It was especially good if it was a cold night. Throw on another shirt or so.
Woozy’s idea will keep me awake. Why the hell didn’t I think of that back when I worked in a place where everybody did costumes?
Best I did was a bald cap with Ben Franklin hair, a fake nose, and all black clothes. When somebody came into our office I’d slump over the keyboard and look exactly like a crude prop from one of those Halloween stores. Then, after the visitor had been talking to somebody in a neighboring cubicle for a few seconds, I’d lurch to life with a snarl.
@ woozy – Today’s “Foxtrot” has a nice rendition of “dressing up as yourself”:
To be fair to Paige (someone has to be), most people would say “go as each other”, not “as ourselves”.
In pre-PC days my college friends and I would dress up as, I believe we used the term, “winos.” Same basic scheme as CIDU Bill’s plus wine bottles in paper bags in every pocket of our beat-up overcoats. The bottles were real for the sake of authenticity.
We’ve always been minimalist when it comes to costumes: the most elaborate my wife Robin and I got was when I wore a Batman mask to a party and she came as herself (Robin). And the following year I wore the same mask and she put on a baseball cap and was Batgirl.
Which still beats the year when my son, having been told he looks like the actor Andrew Garfield, simply told everybody he was wearing an Andrew Garfield costume.
I can’t recall ever doing anything very elaborate for a Halloween costume — these days I just put on a jester’s cap and a red nose when I answer the door to distribute candy to trick-or-treaters.
The first Mrs. Shrug once went to a party dressed as a dryad in the process of emerging from her tree — gauzy garments on top and some sort of prop (paper mache?) fake tree trunk around her lower half. It hadn’t occured to her that would pretty much preclude sitting down, so I don’t think we stayed very long.
My daughter got married on Oct 30, the day before Halloween. They had a church service, then everyone changed into costume for the reception. (Three couples dressed as parodies of the blonde bride and ginger groom).
Well, not everyone. My wife didn’t want to change. I had to explain to others that she was dressed as a mother-in-law, and what could be scarier than that?
Another idea for minimalist costume:
https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2018/10/22/wheres-costume-comic/
. . . and an even EASIER one . . .
https://www.gocomics.com/realitycheck/2018/10/30
My cousins (2 males) would always dress as bums for Halloween.
First Halloween I dressed up I was 5 and in kindergarten. The idea was never suggested to me and this was a case of I came home from school and asked if I go trick or treating. (I am guessing that we did not dress up for school – in Brooklyn, starting in 1sr grade, out here in the suburbs we did.) Mom – 7 months pregnant with my sister came up with – I could dress like a mommy. She put makeup on me and fake jewelry and a dress. We went to 4 apartments in the building – our next door neighbor, 2 friends of mine and a friend (maybe a client of dad’s) of my parents.
After that it was mostly the cheap (although to hear my parents talk it was not cheap) commercial costumes. The only one I remember is Fred Flinstone – yes, Fred. As I remember it we went in to get a Wilma costume, but butterball that I was I was told that same would not fit me and I had to get a Fred. Now at the time and for some time afterwards after I thought this meant that the Fred costume was more roomy than the Wilma – he also being a butterball. As I got older this did not make sense to me. It was only some more recent years ago it occurred to me that maybe they only had small size Wilma costumes and had the Fred in super large fat kid size, which is how my size got involved.
The only time I have been talked into dressing up for Halloween (a party given by a friend of Robert’s) we went as Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett.
Mostly I try to avoid Halloween as much as possible. The reason I knew that my cousins wore the same bum costumes every year was, well, that was what they wore to my birthday party. I give Leap year day and April Fool’s day born people that their birthdays may be worse, but none others. Since we have been able to take the time off, we have gone to Lancaster, PA for Halloween (and the days before and after) to avoid it as much as possible. While it is still there, there is much less – especially at PA Dutch places. One can go to dinner and the servers are not dressed up. We tried to work around it here, but other than Chinese restaurants the staff would be dressed in costumes. One year we decided to go to a really nice (over the budget) Continental restaurant with band and dance floor in an attempt to avoid it – we were served by a female football player covered in dirt and the table was bussed by a science experiment gone wrong covered in blood. Trips to Lancaster started the next year.
So right now I should be in our RV in Lancaster having coming down today or yesterday so we could go to the Tuesday farmer’s market and would be staying through the Friday ditto. But here I sit in the kitchen with a husband who is upset that we were not able to go this year. He hurt his shoulder early in the month and still is in pain (yes, he saw the doctor – and then coincidentally we had our regular annual appointment, we also spent 8.5 hours in the emergency room as it started with pains shooting down his left arm, so at least we know it was not a heart attack). Shoulder belt sits on the spot and he can only drive very limited distances – and since he has motion sickness, he cannot only ride if he is driving.