Perhaps the theme is ‘heaven’ (“Pearly Ga…” is written on the table cloth), and therefore it’s quite difficult to find truly angelic waiters.
‘Let he who is without sin serve the first course.’ Those folks have got to be tricky to find.
Actually, ‘Pearly Gates’ is written in full is on them menu itself. Duh.
Normally, “good help” means people who can do the job well. In this case, they need people who are just generally good.
“Actually, ‘Pearly Gates’ is written in full is on them menu itself. Duh.”
I sound drunk. I assure you I’m not. Not yet, anyway.
Actually, ‘Pearly Gates is written in full on the menu itself. Duh.
@Arthur – not just “generally good” people, they need genuine ethereal beings (not people per se) who are yer actual wing-fluttering haloed angels seconded from the realm of Glory, the celestial city, the abode of the saints, &c and thus full of 100% goodness.
“BE NOT AFRAID, AND THE SOUP OF THE DAY IS MUSHROOM CREAM!”
Honestly, this is a good idea for a theme restaurant. If theme restaurants were still popular.
I think this is the first ‘Pardon my . . .” that I thought funny. Not exactly LOL, but chuckle-worthy.
In collaboration with that Medieval one from ‘Zits’ . . . so many died in Medieval times.
“PREPARE THEE THE WAY OF THE 2-FOR-1 APPETIZERS AT THE BAR FROM 5 TO 8 PM WEEKNIGHTS!”
Thank you for these . . . I needed the laff this a.m.
The only heaven/restaurant joke I kw is one that ends with “Yeah, but it’s such a hassle cooking for two.”
Mildly on-topic as being about eating, I like this Last Supper joke –
Jesus and his disciples enter an eating establishment.
JESUS and DISCIPLES: Table for twenty-six please.
RESTAURATEUR: But there are only thirteen of you….?
JESUS and DISCIPLES: Yes, but we’re all going to sit on one side.
(Apologies if I heard/ read this joke here on this site, which is all too possible. Still, even CIDU Bill sometimes posts the same cartoon twice, so nobody’s perfect).
Yes, it was here, narmitaj. Hopefully just once.
Your final comment reminds me of my high school geometry teacher — whom you’d assume would always be objective — who refused to give anybody 100 on a test even if all the answers were correct. He said “Only God is perfect, and then there’s me, so the highest grade any of you can get is a 98.”
He also insisted my name was Peter, but that’s another matter.
If there’s a heaven, WHO would willingly do a server’s job?
Maybe that’s where the hell-bound go.
Bill (or Peter): In high school, I had a history teacher who was upset when three students, including me and my best friend, got 100% on his first test. He called my best friend and the third student in his office, and accused them of cheating, saying “My tests are too difficult for anyone to get 100% on them, I know you must have cheated.” My friend said “I didn’t cheat. And WW also got 100% on the test, why isn’t he in here?” The teacher said “Oh, everyone knows that WW is a genius, so I believe he could actually get 100%. But the two of you must have cheated.” My friend was, needless to say, not real impressed.
It set the tone for what turned out to be a fairly adversarial teacher-class relationship over the year.
“If there’s a heaven, WHO would willingly do a server’s job? ”
Depends on whether or not the entrance requirements include being the sort of person who’d be a waiter in heaven. Rich men, camels, eyes of needles, etc.
According to the old German folk song that Mahler used in his fourth symphony, Martha does all the cooking in Heaven. She got the only mention as a good cook in the New Testament, so she got the job and now she cooks for all the other people who get to sit around and play harps. She probably has to cook at this restaurant too.
As for the angels, there are plenty of them and they all were created long before the creation of Man. They have no free will so they just go where God tells them to go and do what God tells them to do. They can be in any number of places and times at once. So there should be no staffing problem in the front of house but the kitchen is another story entirely.
By the way, the auto fill for the email, name and website is interesting here. I type m for the first and it offers my email address as a suggestion. I type M for the second and it offers Mark in Boston as a suggestion. I accidentally typed 4 for the third and it offered a certain web site that starts with 4 and ends with .org. I wonder where it gets those ideas.
MiB: Yes, if you want to go by the book, angels are just supernatural beings doing God’s work. Heaven’s demons, basically. However, I expect the comic is using the folk interpretation, that angels are dead people in Heaven with wings.
In that case, the problem is that waiters and waitresses are terrible people and almost all go to Hell.
Or, because it’s Heaven, they are all successful in auditions or sell their screenplays or whatever else it is they really want to do, so they don’t have to be waiters/waitresses.
Hmmm, I like the second possibility. Gives me something to look forward to.
Mark, I wasn’t aware that “”Das himmlische Leben” (or “Der Himmel hängt voll Geigen” as the poem was called in the Wunderhorn collection) ever had music with the words, before Mahler’s beautiful treatment.
Mitch4, I wouldn’t really know. Folk poetry was generally collected as words without music, but how often do you read of people standing around reciting folk poetry vs. singing folk songs? Aside from the “There once was a man from Nantucket” kind of folk poetry. I just assumed that the folklorist couldn’t justify the extra expense of engraving the music when publishing his collection.
Besides, it’s “The Youth’s Magic Horn”, not “The Youth’s Magic Pencil.”
To be far Martha only has to cook for herself. Then Jesus comes along and does the rest.
Bill, coming in late here, but “Peter” because he was comparing you to a rock? Maybe a “blockhead” insult? (“Peter’s” real name was Simon or Simeon. The Bible is big on renaming people, notably Abraham.)
The pun (in Greek? also Aramaic?) is mostly lost in English when the passage is translated something like “I name you Peter, and on this rock I will build my church.”
So I advocate calling him Rocky instead.
Here’s another joke about the cooking in Heaven.
What’s the difference between Heaven and Hell?
In Heaven, the French are the cooks, the English are the policemen, the Germans are the administrators, the Swiss are the mechanics and the Italians are the lovers.
In Hell, the English are the cooks, the Germans are the policemen, the French are the administrators, the Italians are the mechanics and the Swiss are the lovers.
Winter Wallaby – For those who do not, in NYS there are statewide exams given to those in 9th-12th grades in various subjects called Regents exams as they are done under the direction of the State Board of Regents . You take the exam in the subject once (hopefully) so there is an exam in each of the sciences offered – typically one first takes biology course for a year and its exam and then chemistry course and exam and so on. Subjects such as English have one exam that one has to pass before graduating. The exams are a big deal and one gets an additional special diploma when one has passed the entire grouping of courses and exams. When I went to school this was “voluntary” – meaning that anyone who would be going to on to college and most others with the exception of those who really could not pass them (and would only get a school diploma, not a Regents diploma, took them and others did not. More recently I think that they have become required to graduate.
The first exam that one would typically take was the algebra course and Regents exam. Each exam is given just about simultaneously around the state. The exams were 3 hours and one had to stay at least 2 hours and the last school giving the exam by time to start within the two hours – so no one could take the exam, memorize it, go home and call their cousin who was taking it at different time – no one would be out in time to do so. (Or so they told us was the reason. We were also told that we did not have to worry, they had to make the exams easy enough for the kids upstate to pass – I have always wondered if the students upstate were told that that exams had to be easy enough for the kids in NYC to pass.)
I took the Algebra course and exam. I finished in less than 2 hours and knew enough not to go over my answers more than once, so I sat and watched the clock until the 2 hours had run. I then turned in my paper and went home on the school bus. My mom was upset – why was I home so early? What did I mean I finished it early – I must have missed a lot of questions – either not answered or wrong. A week or so later i get my report card and come home. My mom was itching to teach me a lesson for a rushing. “What did you get on your Regents exam?” Me – “100”. Mom – ‘Well, next year you will study harder and do better.” “huh?’
Comics I Don't Understand 
Many are called, but few are chosen ?
Perhaps the theme is ‘heaven’ (“Pearly Ga…” is written on the table cloth), and therefore it’s quite difficult to find truly angelic waiters.
‘Let he who is without sin serve the first course.’ Those folks have got to be tricky to find.
Actually, ‘Pearly Gates’ is written in full is on them menu itself. Duh.
Normally, “good help” means people who can do the job well. In this case, they need people who are just generally good.
“Actually, ‘Pearly Gates’ is written in full is on them menu itself. Duh.”
I sound drunk. I assure you I’m not. Not yet, anyway.
Actually, ‘Pearly Gates is written in full on the menu itself. Duh.
@Arthur – not just “generally good” people, they need genuine ethereal beings (not people per se) who are yer actual wing-fluttering haloed angels seconded from the realm of Glory, the celestial city, the abode of the saints, &c and thus full of 100% goodness.
“BE NOT AFRAID, AND THE SOUP OF THE DAY IS MUSHROOM CREAM!”
Honestly, this is a good idea for a theme restaurant. If theme restaurants were still popular.
I think this is the first ‘Pardon my . . .” that I thought funny. Not exactly LOL, but chuckle-worthy.
In collaboration with that Medieval one from ‘Zits’ . . . so many died in Medieval times.
“PREPARE THEE THE WAY OF THE 2-FOR-1 APPETIZERS AT THE BAR FROM 5 TO 8 PM WEEKNIGHTS!”
Thank you for these . . . I needed the laff this a.m.
The only heaven/restaurant joke I kw is one that ends with “Yeah, but it’s such a hassle cooking for two.”
Mildly on-topic as being about eating, I like this Last Supper joke –
Jesus and his disciples enter an eating establishment.
JESUS and DISCIPLES: Table for twenty-six please.
RESTAURATEUR: But there are only thirteen of you….?
JESUS and DISCIPLES: Yes, but we’re all going to sit on one side.
(Apologies if I heard/ read this joke here on this site, which is all too possible. Still, even CIDU Bill sometimes posts the same cartoon twice, so nobody’s perfect).
Yes, it was here, narmitaj. Hopefully just once.
Your final comment reminds me of my high school geometry teacher — whom you’d assume would always be objective — who refused to give anybody 100 on a test even if all the answers were correct. He said “Only God is perfect, and then there’s me, so the highest grade any of you can get is a 98.”
He also insisted my name was Peter, but that’s another matter.
If there’s a heaven, WHO would willingly do a server’s job?
Maybe that’s where the hell-bound go.
Bill (or Peter): In high school, I had a history teacher who was upset when three students, including me and my best friend, got 100% on his first test. He called my best friend and the third student in his office, and accused them of cheating, saying “My tests are too difficult for anyone to get 100% on them, I know you must have cheated.” My friend said “I didn’t cheat. And WW also got 100% on the test, why isn’t he in here?” The teacher said “Oh, everyone knows that WW is a genius, so I believe he could actually get 100%. But the two of you must have cheated.” My friend was, needless to say, not real impressed.
It set the tone for what turned out to be a fairly adversarial teacher-class relationship over the year.
“If there’s a heaven, WHO would willingly do a server’s job? ”
Depends on whether or not the entrance requirements include being the sort of person who’d be a waiter in heaven. Rich men, camels, eyes of needles, etc.
According to the old German folk song that Mahler used in his fourth symphony, Martha does all the cooking in Heaven. She got the only mention as a good cook in the New Testament, so she got the job and now she cooks for all the other people who get to sit around and play harps. She probably has to cook at this restaurant too.
As for the angels, there are plenty of them and they all were created long before the creation of Man. They have no free will so they just go where God tells them to go and do what God tells them to do. They can be in any number of places and times at once. So there should be no staffing problem in the front of house but the kitchen is another story entirely.
By the way, the auto fill for the email, name and website is interesting here. I type m for the first and it offers my email address as a suggestion. I type M for the second and it offers Mark in Boston as a suggestion. I accidentally typed 4 for the third and it offered a certain web site that starts with 4 and ends with .org. I wonder where it gets those ideas.
MiB: Yes, if you want to go by the book, angels are just supernatural beings doing God’s work. Heaven’s demons, basically. However, I expect the comic is using the folk interpretation, that angels are dead people in Heaven with wings.
In that case, the problem is that waiters and waitresses are terrible people and almost all go to Hell.
Or, because it’s Heaven, they are all successful in auditions or sell their screenplays or whatever else it is they really want to do, so they don’t have to be waiters/waitresses.
Hmmm, I like the second possibility. Gives me something to look forward to.
Mark, I wasn’t aware that “”Das himmlische Leben” (or “Der Himmel hängt voll Geigen” as the poem was called in the Wunderhorn collection) ever had music with the words, before Mahler’s beautiful treatment.
Mitch4, I wouldn’t really know. Folk poetry was generally collected as words without music, but how often do you read of people standing around reciting folk poetry vs. singing folk songs? Aside from the “There once was a man from Nantucket” kind of folk poetry. I just assumed that the folklorist couldn’t justify the extra expense of engraving the music when publishing his collection.
Besides, it’s “The Youth’s Magic Horn”, not “The Youth’s Magic Pencil.”
To be far Martha only has to cook for herself. Then Jesus comes along and does the rest.
Bill, coming in late here, but “Peter” because he was comparing you to a rock? Maybe a “blockhead” insult? (“Peter’s” real name was Simon or Simeon. The Bible is big on renaming people, notably Abraham.)
The pun (in Greek? also Aramaic?) is mostly lost in English when the passage is translated something like “I name you Peter, and on this rock I will build my church.”
So I advocate calling him Rocky instead.
Here’s another joke about the cooking in Heaven.
What’s the difference between Heaven and Hell?
In Heaven, the French are the cooks, the English are the policemen, the Germans are the administrators, the Swiss are the mechanics and the Italians are the lovers.
In Hell, the English are the cooks, the Germans are the policemen, the French are the administrators, the Italians are the mechanics and the Swiss are the lovers.
Winter Wallaby – For those who do not, in NYS there are statewide exams given to those in 9th-12th grades in various subjects called Regents exams as they are done under the direction of the State Board of Regents . You take the exam in the subject once (hopefully) so there is an exam in each of the sciences offered – typically one first takes biology course for a year and its exam and then chemistry course and exam and so on. Subjects such as English have one exam that one has to pass before graduating. The exams are a big deal and one gets an additional special diploma when one has passed the entire grouping of courses and exams. When I went to school this was “voluntary” – meaning that anyone who would be going to on to college and most others with the exception of those who really could not pass them (and would only get a school diploma, not a Regents diploma, took them and others did not. More recently I think that they have become required to graduate.
The first exam that one would typically take was the algebra course and Regents exam. Each exam is given just about simultaneously around the state. The exams were 3 hours and one had to stay at least 2 hours and the last school giving the exam by time to start within the two hours – so no one could take the exam, memorize it, go home and call their cousin who was taking it at different time – no one would be out in time to do so. (Or so they told us was the reason. We were also told that we did not have to worry, they had to make the exams easy enough for the kids upstate to pass – I have always wondered if the students upstate were told that that exams had to be easy enough for the kids in NYC to pass.)
I took the Algebra course and exam. I finished in less than 2 hours and knew enough not to go over my answers more than once, so I sat and watched the clock until the 2 hours had run. I then turned in my paper and went home on the school bus. My mom was upset – why was I home so early? What did I mean I finished it early – I must have missed a lot of questions – either not answered or wrong. A week or so later i get my report card and come home. My mom was itching to teach me a lesson for a rushing. “What did you get on your Regents exam?” Me – “100”. Mom – ‘Well, next year you will study harder and do better.” “huh?’