Bass players get no respect. Sort of the Rodney Dangerfields of the music scene. I thought this was pretty funny.
For the record, this was recaptioned (presumably not by Bill, or even idiot Bill). The original was a shot at Facebook, and said:
He had over 2,000 Facebook friends. I was expecting a bigger turnout.
(I went looking because while the art sure looked like Bizarro, the caption didn’t, and there were no other Bizarro signature bits, like, well, a signature!)
Bass player jokes are great. I like the one about the band up on stage playing:
Lead guitarist is thinking, “Great crowd tonight; I hope there are some hot groupies!”
Drummer is thinking: “Great crowd tonight; I hope we get paid!”
Rhythm guitarist is thinking: “Great crowd tonight, but they don’t appreciate me.”
Bass player is thinking: D. E. D. E…
There is a Bizarro signature: the flying saucer.
But you’re right, of course: definitely re-captioned, probably by Bilden J. Bickworm.
I’m with you PS3. Here’s my favourite:
An intrepid explorer was being guided through a river that ran through a dense jungle by a local tribesman. Suddenly, they hear drums beating in the distance. The explorer asks about them, and the guide says, “Do not worry. It is only when the drums stop that we are in trouble.”
They carry on further down the river, and the drums are getting louder. More nervous now, the explorer ask again about the drums, and again the reply, “Nothing to worry about. When the drums stop, that is when we are in trouble.”
The trip continues, and the drums are really loud now. The explorer is in fits! “What are those drums!” he shouts. “Do not worry! Only when they stop are we in trouble!” “Why?! Why?! What will happen when they stop!?!” The guide replies, “Bass solo.”
You’d think there would be plenty of people who want to see a bass player dead.
Basic rule about musician jokes: every joke that’s been applied to one type of musician has also been applied to 90% of other types of musicians.
There’s also a piece of pie.
— Far Side had the devil escorting a symphony conductor into a room full of banjo players.
— Prairie Home Companion defined perfect pitch on an accordion as not hitting the sides of the dumpster.
And isn’t that the inverted bird (or is it the bunny?) under the middle chair?
And don’t forget Far Side “Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.” We had a CEO who played accordion and loved that one.
The original appeared 26-Jan-2012, the number next to the signature (which was cut off by the copyright infringer) indicates 4 Easter eggs: spaceship, bird, eyeball, dynamite.
James is right. My grandson plays viola, so all the jokes he hears are about viola players (who also get no respect).
For Bookworm’s grandson: How does a trombone player make his car more aerodynamic? He removes the Domino’s sign.
I’ve heard accordion jokes, but never bass jokes. Does it make a difference if it is an upright bass or a bass guitar?
Several years ago I was sitting sixth row center at a concert and enjoyed watching the upright bass player. He was smooooth.❤
I’ll beat y’all to it.
“Does it make a difference if it is an upright bass or a bass guitar?”
It does make a difference if it is a bass fish.
“The original appeared 26-Jan-2012, the number next to the signature (which was cut off by the copyright infringer) indicates 4 Easter eggs: spaceship, bird, eyeball, dynamite.”
The modified comic crops out the eyeball and the dynamite, but despite the number four, there were actually five Easter eggs: there is also a slice of pie under a chair.
I played the sousaphone in high school. Bass players get plenty of respect compared to a sousaphone player.
The first viola joke I ever heard was told to me by a student who is now the principal viola of a major symphony orchestra. (Not the Boston Symphony, but similar.) To tell it you really need a viola or at least a piano or something so that you can play the punch line. I suppose you can sing the punch line if you are really good.
A symphony orchestra had an open audition to hire a new principal viola.
A violist came to the audition. They asked him, “What have you prepared to play for us?”
He replied, “Mendelssohn’s violin concerto.”
They said, “We would rather have you play something on the viola.”
“Oh, I play it on the viola.”
“Transposed down a fifth?”
“Oh no, I play it as written.”
The Mendelssohn has some parts that are very high for the violin, so they knew that if he could play them on the viola he was unusually good. They had him wait for a minute while they brought in a few more musicians from the orchestra and then asked him to start.
[Now at this point, you play the punch line, which is the viola part from the orchestral accompaniment to Mendelssohn’s violin concerto. Here is the score; the viola part is the third line from the bottom. https://goo.gl/images/RDc54q ]
Sorry, MiB, I didn’t inderstand the punchline.
The audition committee assumes he is going to play the difficult solo violin part of Mendelssohn’s violin concerto on his viola. Instead he plays the very easy orchestral viola part. It’s funny because musicians auditioning for an orchestral part very often play orchestral excerpts, but only if the excerpt is difficult enough or prominent enough to be worth playing in an audition. When you tell the joke the listener expects to hear some version of the solo violin part. What the listener gets is unexpected, and it takes a minute to recognize what it actually is. Also this is a joke that doesn’t work for any other instrument. The musician can’t be a trumpeter or flutist or tympanist.
Thanks to MiB for the details.
Thanks, Jon88, I’ll tell him! And Mark in Boston, I’ll tell him that, too. As it happens, the orchestra he’s in played that piece in a concert earlier this year, and he was laughing about the viola part.
Comics I Don't Understand 
Bass players get no respect. Sort of the Rodney Dangerfields of the music scene. I thought this was pretty funny.
For the record, this was recaptioned (presumably not by Bill, or even idiot Bill). The original was a shot at Facebook, and said:
He had over 2,000 Facebook friends. I was expecting a bigger turnout.
(I went looking because while the art sure looked like Bizarro, the caption didn’t, and there were no other Bizarro signature bits, like, well, a signature!)
Bizarro does take a shot at bass players, though, at http://bizarro.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/bz-panel-10-04-16.jpg
Bass player jokes are great. I like the one about the band up on stage playing:
Lead guitarist is thinking, “Great crowd tonight; I hope there are some hot groupies!”
Drummer is thinking: “Great crowd tonight; I hope we get paid!”
Rhythm guitarist is thinking: “Great crowd tonight, but they don’t appreciate me.”
Bass player is thinking: D. E. D. E…
There is a Bizarro signature: the flying saucer.
But you’re right, of course: definitely re-captioned, probably by Bilden J. Bickworm.
I’m with you PS3. Here’s my favourite:
An intrepid explorer was being guided through a river that ran through a dense jungle by a local tribesman. Suddenly, they hear drums beating in the distance. The explorer asks about them, and the guide says, “Do not worry. It is only when the drums stop that we are in trouble.”
They carry on further down the river, and the drums are getting louder. More nervous now, the explorer ask again about the drums, and again the reply, “Nothing to worry about. When the drums stop, that is when we are in trouble.”
The trip continues, and the drums are really loud now. The explorer is in fits! “What are those drums!” he shouts. “Do not worry! Only when they stop are we in trouble!” “Why?! Why?! What will happen when they stop!?!” The guide replies, “Bass solo.”
You’d think there would be plenty of people who want to see a bass player dead.
Basic rule about musician jokes: every joke that’s been applied to one type of musician has also been applied to 90% of other types of musicians.
There’s also a piece of pie.
— Far Side had the devil escorting a symphony conductor into a room full of banjo players.
— Prairie Home Companion defined perfect pitch on an accordion as not hitting the sides of the dumpster.
And isn’t that the inverted bird (or is it the bunny?) under the middle chair?
And don’t forget Far Side “Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.” We had a CEO who played accordion and loved that one.
The original appeared 26-Jan-2012, the number next to the signature (which was cut off by the copyright infringer) indicates 4 Easter eggs: spaceship, bird, eyeball, dynamite.
James is right. My grandson plays viola, so all the jokes he hears are about viola players (who also get no respect).
For Bookworm’s grandson: How does a trombone player make his car more aerodynamic? He removes the Domino’s sign.
I’ve heard accordion jokes, but never bass jokes. Does it make a difference if it is an upright bass or a bass guitar?
Several years ago I was sitting sixth row center at a concert and enjoyed watching the upright bass player. He was smooooth.❤
I’ll beat y’all to it.
“Does it make a difference if it is an upright bass or a bass guitar?”
It does make a difference if it is a bass fish.
“The original appeared 26-Jan-2012, the number next to the signature (which was cut off by the copyright infringer) indicates 4 Easter eggs: spaceship, bird, eyeball, dynamite.”
The modified comic crops out the eyeball and the dynamite, but despite the number four, there were actually five Easter eggs: there is also a slice of pie under a chair.
I played the sousaphone in high school. Bass players get plenty of respect compared to a sousaphone player.
The first viola joke I ever heard was told to me by a student who is now the principal viola of a major symphony orchestra. (Not the Boston Symphony, but similar.) To tell it you really need a viola or at least a piano or something so that you can play the punch line. I suppose you can sing the punch line if you are really good.
A symphony orchestra had an open audition to hire a new principal viola.
A violist came to the audition. They asked him, “What have you prepared to play for us?”
He replied, “Mendelssohn’s violin concerto.”
They said, “We would rather have you play something on the viola.”
“Oh, I play it on the viola.”
“Transposed down a fifth?”
“Oh no, I play it as written.”
The Mendelssohn has some parts that are very high for the violin, so they knew that if he could play them on the viola he was unusually good. They had him wait for a minute while they brought in a few more musicians from the orchestra and then asked him to start.
[Now at this point, you play the punch line, which is the viola part from the orchestral accompaniment to Mendelssohn’s violin concerto. Here is the score; the viola part is the third line from the bottom. https://goo.gl/images/RDc54q ]
Sorry, MiB, I didn’t inderstand the punchline.
The audition committee assumes he is going to play the difficult solo violin part of Mendelssohn’s violin concerto on his viola. Instead he plays the very easy orchestral viola part. It’s funny because musicians auditioning for an orchestral part very often play orchestral excerpts, but only if the excerpt is difficult enough or prominent enough to be worth playing in an audition. When you tell the joke the listener expects to hear some version of the solo violin part. What the listener gets is unexpected, and it takes a minute to recognize what it actually is. Also this is a joke that doesn’t work for any other instrument. The musician can’t be a trumpeter or flutist or tympanist.
Thanks to MiB for the details.
Thanks, Jon88, I’ll tell him! And Mark in Boston, I’ll tell him that, too. As it happens, the orchestra he’s in played that piece in a concert earlier this year, and he was laughing about the viola part.